NCFM Mexico Liaison Robert Yourell asks, “Could a Feminist be Good for Your Love Life?”

March 3, 2012
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feministby Robert Yourell

NCFM Liaison Baha, Mexico

Here is some research that looks at stereotypes about feminists. I have been saying that men’s Rights advocates that display black-and-white thinking (among other things) harm the credibility of the movement. Maybe this little survey can help that type of guy inhabit a more complicated world. Unfortunately, it will take a lot more than this to influence people that need to simplify their world.

Many of them will simply create a theory that’s even more ridiculous. Consider a post by Back2TheKitchen on DontMarryCareerWoman.com: “Talk about desperation. How do Feminists attempt to combat the marriage strike and IMBRA? With propaganda, of course.” And how is it that reporting on polls equals propaganda? They are lying about the stats? The questions were totally manipulative? And how could anyone actually believe that the marriage strike and IMBRA caused them to concoct a big lie? Were those things even on their radar screens? Someone actually thinks the researchers were threatened by that?

Allow me to suggest this approach to feminists. If you encounter a feminist, ask what feminism is. If their definition sounds like humanism, ask them what the difference is. If they say something like, “The difference is that feminism is a special focus on the rights and well-being of women,” ask if there should be such a focus for men. If they say yes, then you could probably learn some things from each other. If not, then I guess what you do with them depends on whether they show any capacity to dialog with sincerity. But first, ask yourself if you have a sincere desire to dialog, or if you just like to preach to the choir.

Read the Science Daily article below, Feminism and Romance Go Hand In Hand . Then, please, leave a comment and your opinion.

Contrary to popular opinion, feminism and romance are not incompatible and feminism may actually improve the quality of heterosexual relationships, according to Laurie Rudman and Julie Phelan, from Rutgers University in the US. Their study* also shows that unflattering feminist stereotypes, that tend to stigmatize feminists as unattractive and sexually unappealing, are unsupported.

It is generally perceived that feminism and romance are in direct conflict. Rudman and Phelan’s work challenges this perception. They carried out both a laboratory survey of 242 American undergraduates and an online survey including 289 older adults, more likely to have had longer relationships and greater life experience. They looked at men’s and women’s perception of their own feminism and its link to relationship health, measured by a combination of overall relationship quality, agreement about gender equality, relationship stability and sexual satisfaction.

They found that having a feminist partner was linked to healthier heterosexual relationships for women.  Men with feminist partners also reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction. According to these results, feminism does not predict poor romantic relationships, in fact quite the opposite.

Click here to read the rest of the article.
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Robert A. Yourell, LMFT

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